Today many of my friends in various universities got their big scholarships from the economic foundation. I am happy for them as I understand how competitive the race was and how hard life could be without funding for studies.I did not apply for this scholarship last summer because I planned to come back only in January 2018. However, as life changes all the time, a new plan came up to my table. I returned to work in September and was like a newbie again.
I started my PhD studies in 2013, but I had two maternity leaves since then. Yes, I am mom and a PhD student. I don’t hide the fact that I am struggling with the demands from family and studies. In January 2018, I will probably have no funding for my studies for several months. Before my university used to have a generous funding system where you could apply for funding twice per year for full-time studies. Now they do not offer those opportunities anymore. It means that PhD students will need to find funding outside after two years of contract with the university. I was shocked to know this after coming back, but not anymore now. I think it can be a great opportunity for change for myself.
The nice thing about academia is that you have flexibility and freedom to research what you are passionate about and may be what matters to the society. It feels like you could be young forever there :). The not so nice thing is you have to live with lots of uncertainties during the formative years of a researcher career. A lot of people quit. I do not think of quitting, but postponing studies is one of the options.
I think it is time to do something out there to get hands-on experiences and later identify my real research interests. I have had about 2 years of work experience. They are not enough. The decision, however, is not an easy one. How to have the courage to leave behind what have been so dear for many years. Sometimes I wanna go to bed without thinking of the data aNFL my research. I want to do something else and think of something else in my work. Maybe soon I will have to decide. I’ll keep you posted 🙂